Let It Go To Your Head

Many freelance writers, myself included, tend to downplay compliments that come our way. Someone says something nice about our writing or our interviewing skills or whatever it may be, and we say thanks and shrug it off and go back to whatever it is we were doing before, without giving those kind words a second thought.

But when criticism comes our way, it’s a different story. We’ll latch on to every little word that comes out of someone’s mouth (or from an email) and agonize over what we did wrong and how we can make things right. We’ll toss and turn at night thinking about how we screwed up, about what we should’ve done differently, even if all we did was spell a word wrong.

I was reminded of this yesterday. Sometimes I can be a bit hasty in my blog posts, particularly when I’m trying to juggle wanting to write to my much-loved readers with finding time to write (for money!) on a tight deadline. When I get a chance, I try to go back and read through recently published posts with fresh eyes to catch errors. But every once in a while, someone will beat me to it and alert me to a typo. I'm grateful for it, but then I’m relentless about going in immediately and fixing it, and then re-reading as many posts I can get through afterward, because I’m just sure there are more problems lurking in there somewhere.

Why not spend that much time on the positive feedback? Don’t we deserve it? Aren’t the kudos earned, after all, for our hard work?

Later yesterday, I received an email from a source for a profile I wrote recently. Essentially, he said that he’s been interviewed for a number of publications over the years and he wanted to let me know “with absolute candor and honesty” that he was impressed with how well done and accurate my work was.

I responded quickly without thinking much about it and said, “Thanks, I think it’s because I type so fast so I can get down every word sources say.”

Ah, the freelancer’s knack for deflecting praise with a swift click of the “send” button.

Only this source wasn’t having it. He emailed me again and said, “More than that, it’s good listening and care toward accuracy.”

The fact that this gentleman (who happens to be a CEO of a multimillion-dollar company, no less), took the time to respond again and, essentially, tap on the glass surrounding my writer’s bubble to let me know I really needed to understand what he was saying, got me thinking.

In our society, we’re surrounded by people who spend their days promoting themselves, who do little else besides think about how awesome they are (or think they are). Yet as writers, we tend to lurk in the background, to write our words and then disappear in the shadows so no one knows we were even there. That’s all well and good. But why don’t we take the praise? Why aren’t we proud enough to show it, to say, “You know what, I am good”?

Hence this post. I gave myself permission for a moment to revel in the compliment, to appreciate what this source said to me and to think about other positive things people have said about my work. I have to admit, it felt great. It was a huge confidence booster, and I returned to my work with renewed energy and dedication.

Now I think you should try it. Think about the last compliment someone gave you about your work. Roll it around in your head for a while. Pat yourself on your back.

Well done, writer. You deserve it. Really, you do.